Life has given me lots of lemons lately, way too many to handle and to make lemonade. As a result, I only showed up for a few things that I committed to and neglected many other things that I usually deeply care about including friendships, writing and other activities that bring me joy.
In the midst of this, I’ve been asking myself more than ever before how to show up for myself, my work and others in the face of inner turmoil.
Whilst this is an ongoing exploration, I keep coming back to the practice of loving kindness and I would like to dedicate this article to it.
What is loving kindness
In Pali loving kindness is called ‘metta’.
Loving kindness is unconditional love and therefore does not depend on whether one “deserves” it or not. It has no restrictions and can be extended to all beings.
The traditional words and phrases often used in metta meditation have been passed down for centuries. Phrases that are often used are:
May I be happy.
May I be free from suffering.
May I be peaceful.
May I be healthy and strong.
May I live with ease.
The big difference between this type of meditation and mindfulness meditation, where we observe what arises without judgement, is that we are trying to evoke a specific state of mind or rather we are attempting to rewrite the autopilot software that we so often have running on our brains, especially in moments when we don’t feel good about ourselves or something went wrong.
Why is loving kindness important
There are many reasons why it’s worth starting to incorporate metta meditations into your week. They are generally filled with good intentions. This can be for yourself as well as others, depending on the mantra you include in your meditations.
Other benefits can include reduced levels of anxiety or depression as well as increased joy and happiness.
They can also lead to more supportive self-talk which in my opinion is ultra-important, especially on the days when we feel less than and don’t have much love to give away to ourselves.
Research has also shown that metta is ‘dose dependent’ which means that the more you practise it, the more powerful its effects are.
How does loving kindness relate to meaningful work
Our inner state and how we feel about ourselves can have a huge impact on our work. It can support focus and the output of our work or, on the flip side, it can stop us in our tracks and can even completely derail us for one day or much longer.
Metta mediation can be a very useful tool when you find yourself in the midst of worry and self-doubt or other negative emotions.
This isn’t to say that feeling negative emotions shouldn’t be allowed or felt, rather it’s to support us on days when we don’t want to give power to the voice that tells us that only bad things happen to us, we are not good enough and we will never be happy.
Metta acknowledges that our happiness and joy are important and the practice can help us determine what we can and, most importantly, what we want to do with our time once we find ourselves in a more loving state of mind.
From this state, we can direct our limited energy resources towards deep and meaningful work and hopefully also define, with more ease and less guilt, the things that don’t matter today.
Loving kindness for ourselves
Directing loving kindness toward ourselves is important but can often be difficult.
I certainly find it difficult, which is why I was looking for a way to gently direct metta towards my own being. I recorded a soothing loving kindness meditation and I would love to share it with you.